Thursday, October 6, 2011

Appetite for Destruction

I have found my calling in life.  Working to cure cancer?  Too much science involved--plus you have to pay attention and document stuff.  Writing the next great American novel?  It's all I can do to stay semi-coherent in my blog posts--creating a theme and following through is too much for my short attention span.  Being the next Martha Stewart?  Hahahahah--I'm laughing too hard at that to even type.  I have found something I'm both good at AND enjoy.  I have discovered this morning that I absolutely ROCK at destroying things!

Every day during my unemployment leisure time, I set one goal of the day for myself.  That way I feel like I'm doing something productive.  Granted, I may be doing it in my sweats but the point is I'm accomplishing something while wearing sweats.  Today my goal was to rip up the parquet flooring in the foyer so that we can get ready to lay the new flooring J ordered yesterday.

Here is what I was faced with:
About 7'x4' of glorious 80's style wooden parquet flooring.  It didn't bother me.  It didn't excite me either. It was just there.   Plus, it was too high over the plywood to lay the new floor so it had to go.

J borrowed a crow bar from my father in law (who, incidentally, has enough tools to make Norm Abram jealous) last month & hid it from me.  I guess he was scared of the havoc I could wreak, but given his propensity for mayhem here recently, he relented and told me where it was (under the passenger seat in his old Chevy blazer--where he has hidden Christmas presents only to resurface two years after he bought them to give).  I couldn't find any safety goggles so I used my Ralph Lauren sunglasses.  Not ideal, but desperate times call for desperate measures.

Stylish AND practical.

Thankfully the builders of our house were as lazy as I am & didn't use much glue.  For the most part, the tiles popped right up, which is a good thing as I remembered about halfway in that I haven't had a tetnus shot since I was in 7th grade.  The last thing I needed was to prick my finger on a rusty nail and have a bad Sleeping Beauty experience.  After being so precise and neat with all the painting, it was exhilarating to be able to go at it with reckless abandon.  I was digging all the snapping and popping sounds and the wooden splinters flying in the air (thank heavens for my Ralph Lauren's).  I was amazed at all the dirt that had seeped under the tiles.  I know I'm a lousy housekeeper, but still, it was very dirty.  Then I remembered that the house had two other sets of owners before us and therefore it had to be their dirt.  In addition to destruction I'm also well versed in another "d"--denial.

In less than 40 minutes, I had it all ripped up, bagged and the area swept.  I have started a new love affair with the crowbar.  I may even use it in the mornings to get the Gruesome Twosome out of bed!

Best of all, I get to use my newly acquired skill of tearing things apart to rip up carpet and possibly linoleum in the kitchen!  Where will my new found love take me?  What else needs destruction and dismantling?  How do I get onto an episode of Mythbusters where they blow things up???

1 comment:

  1. It's so awesome when you discover your gifts. Now Laura- tear down that wall!!! :) Great post!