Sunday, October 23, 2011

Wrecked 'Em? I Darned Near Killed 'Em!

I visit the Cakewrecks blog on a daily basis (except for the time when I was on medication that made me crave cupcakes--no sense in adding fuel to that fire).  For those of you who haven't checked it out, Cakewrecks is all about professionally decorated cakes that have gone horribly awry.  While I realize that it sounds sophomoric to make fun of other people's endeavors, the truth of the matter is they are professionals trying to make people pay for crap and need to be called out on it.   When I saw that the Cakewrecks girl was coming to Concord Mills for a book signing, I knew I had to go.  I also enlisted my trusty best friend and sidekick, Mary Margaret.

We knew we just couldn't merely show up, sit the middle, listen to what she had to say & then drive back home for tea and finger sandwiches. Heck no! We are more beer and burgers kinda gals--go big or go home!    For this opportunity, we were pulling out all the stops.  Not only were we going to show up, we were going to sit on the front row AND we were going to enter a cupcake in the Wreckerating contest, whereby contestants recreated one of the wrecks on the blog in cupcake form.  That was going to be the hard part--choosing which one of the myriad of wrecks to recreate in miniature, or so I thought.  Then I came across this gem:

Yes, a badly done and decapitated Dora the Explorer.  Then I realized that I had the perfect homage to my best friend, Mary Margaret.  See, her turd of an ex-husband brought their marriage to an early end by running around with a Mexican (sorry, Dominican).  What other better gift could I give to her than a figurative Mexican (sorry, Dominican) head in a box?  So the Sound and Fury and I got busy making our own badly done Dora.  I threw in a reference to Steel Magnolias and made it out of red velvet cake, just for added  ickiness.
Mary Margaret brought along her cheesy version--mice and poop clamoring over "cheese"

The great irony of this is that she made pretty much the same cake for her sister in law's birthday back in February.  The leftover sprinkles and gummy mice from that cake came in handy!

We showed up, claimed our front row seat (and then ran off to eat some really bad Chinese food) and then settled in to let the festivities begin.  The slide show and talk by Jen were funny--I cracked up at the "you're tolerable" writing on a cake.  I think that may be my new motto--I'm tolerable.  Then the judging began.  To my surprise, my pitiful looking Dora was the first one called up.  I was up there with a girl who had painstakingly recreated a pregnant torso cake in fondant (which must have taken her hours) and a lady who made the un-iced wedding cake (which must have taken her seconds).  Due to my begging, pleading and groveling I was voted the winner and undisputed champeen of the badly decorated cupcakes! I brought home bragging rights, a Cakewrecks apron and a carrot jockey necklace.

Plus, I had Jen sign my book:

And to celebrate, we did what every grown woman would--we went to Dave & Buster's and acted like 12 year olds, provided that 12 year olds could drink beer.

We spent a whole $5 to get our card and ended up winning enough tickets to earn a Laffy Taffy.  Just one.  Yeah, we're that good.

For Mary Margaret's take on the evening, see her blog post here.  She has a real job and therefore doesn't have the unemployed leisure time that I do, so she keeps her posts succinct and zingy.  Whereas, I like to pretend I'm a professional writer and get paid by the word.  Think of hers as the Cliff Notes version!

Cakewrecks Blog

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