Paint it Red

Our new red front door is a prime example of why I don't proffer up helpful little tutorials or DIY tips. One of the blog's I visit on a regular basis offers up how to's, complete with pics of every step of the process and usually some whiny "it took us three whole days to finish it".  Yeah?  Cry me a river, pal.  For my latest project, in order to put accompanying pics out there, we'd have to get film developed.  Yeah--that's my timeline.  It doesn't span days, it spans years back to the days before we had a good digital camera.  Forget three whole days.  This project took a whole six years, give or take a few months.

Here is my latest "project":

Yes.  A measly red door.  To demonstrate that I am not merely being theatrical for theatrics sake, here is the honest to goodness timeline of how long it took to get to the almost finished state that it is in now.

• 6 years ago, decide to paint door red.  I'm all about red and it took me approximately 2.5 minutes to settle on the color "Ruby" at Lowes and have a cute little can mixed up.  Without a doubt!
• 5 years, 11 months ago--stash Ruby in the closet in the same bag we brought her home from Lowe's in.  She has her key and her stirrer in there to keep her company.  Reply hazy.  Please try again!
• 5 years ago, Ruby and her buddies move to a cabinet.  Outlook not so good!
• 4 years ago,in effort to avoid cleaning house, J takes Ruby to be reshaken and defeats the purpose by stashing her in an undisclosed location. Most likely!
• 5 months ago--Ruby is still MIA.  Very doubtful!
• 3 months ago-sister "Scarlett"acquired from Home Depot.  As I see it, yes!
• 2 months ago--door removed from hinges. Furniture moving pad hung over the hole in the house.  Week of living like hobos commences.  I ignore the swarms of insects coming in and refrain from making any Lord of the Flies comments.  It is certain!
• 2 months ago--day 2.  Door back on hinges, hobo cloth still covers hole in front of house.  Scarlet is looking pretty fuchsia.  Must have another coat.  You may rely on it!
• 1 month ago-- Give up hassling with hobo door cover.  Paint the third coat of scarlet while the door is closed & decide whatever shade she dries , we will live with it.  Yes!
• Today--Scarlet finally dry enough to put our vinyl address cling out.  Address put out.  Now I don't like it.  Ask again later!

There you have it.  Six years, two paints, one brush, one vinyl cling later and we're done.  All except the kick plate.  I would put it on, but frankly, I don't know where it is.  Give me another 3 years. Maybe I should just consult the Magic 8 Ball.