To simply say that Laurie Notaro is my favorite writer is like simply saying Ewan McGregor is my favorite actor or saying Marcos Baghdatis is my favorite tennis player or saying the Titanic was just a boat. News of this importance and urgency NEEDS ALL CAPS!! And an extra exclamation point for emphasis! I have every single book she's written (Kindle form, of course). If she ever makes her way to the east coast on a book tour, I would actually *
buy* a book for her to sign. Yes, a
hardback book. That's how extreme my liking of her writing is. Given my love affair with the Kindle, that in itself speaks volumes, plus it would be kinda awkward to have her sign my chest. Her memoirs literally make me LOL (which, BTW, I hate that acronym even more than I hate decaf coffee), to the point that the rest of my family stares at me like they would the crazy guy on the street who talks to himself and the poor girls start to ask if the wonders of modern science can successfully replace my DNA in their genes with that of Selena Gomez. With titles like "The Idiot Girls Club" and "The Flaming Tantrum of Death", no wonder she appeals to me. She's writing ABOUT me! Maybe that's why I like her--she writes about her slightly off-kilter life and makes us "beat of a different drummer girls" seem cool. I mean, if it's in print, it's cool, right?
Right? Please don't refute this, as I prefer my bliss in the form of ignorance.
I finally got around to checking out her website (being
unemployed at leisure is quite time consuming) and saw a link for her Facebook club. Turns out, it was actually a link to send a friend request. Yes, a
friend request. Not merely a club to join or a page to "like", but an actual
friend request. I figured that I had nothing to lose in sending a friend request and since I haven't shown up on her doorstep with a cow's heart in a box or something equally creepy, there was no restraining order against me to prejudice her acceptance. As I get a lot of unknown requests after I do a Fox 8 morning show which I automatically ignore, I figured it wouldn't hurt to include a line or two to let her know that my intentions were innocuous.
This is the message that I wrote along with my friend request, "I'm a huge fan but not a scary stalker. Or even a stalker." We all know that nothing says "I'm not a stalker" like saying "I'm not a stalker", but I felt that upped my street cred and ultimate friend worthy-ness.
That was over a month ago. I figured that she had just clicked ignore on the crazy lady and that was that. Yesterday I got this in my Facebook inbox:
You are so funny! If you staled me, I'd bore you to death. Seriously. Spent an hour looking for an earplug today. I am that much of a loser! xoxox, Laurie
See that?? She added me as a friend AND wrote me back! AND (and this is a very important AND) she said I'm funny! Right there in print! I'm funny! That's like having Kobe Bryant give me a high five for an assist. Or Baryshnikov tell me I really nailed that triple pirouette. I feel like a member of some super exclusive club, with a super secret handshake and super cool uniforms. Granted, she may have been high on Ambien (after all, she did have a typo on "stalk"), but I will take it anyway I can get it!! (extra exclamation point for added emphasis)
Laurie--if you ever happen to fall down the internet rabbit hole and find yourself reading this blog, I beg you, PLEASE come to North Carolina on your book tour. There are tons of Idiot Girls waiting here for you. But not scary stalkers. Or even stalkers, as far as I'm concerned :)
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